Some FAQ's

Pearl of Wisdom

Allah said in an intimate conversation with Moses (AS), ?O Moses, when you see poverty coming, then say to it, 'Welcome O garment of the righteous', and when you see wealth coming, say, 'A sin whose punishment has been hastened .? Al-Majlisi said, 'To combine both types of traditions [praising and disparaging poverty] and in order to portray that poverty and wealth are both bounties of Allah, most High, it must be said, that he gives each of them [poverty and? richness] to whomsoever He wishes according to the complete interests He knows for each. So the servant should endure his poverty,? and furthermore be grateful for it, and be grateful for wealth when he is given it, and use it as it is necessary. So with both acting in accordance with what their individual situation requires of them, it is generally agreed that the patient poor man is rewarded more than the grateful rich man. However the levels of their respective situations are completely different, and there can never be an absolute judgment about either side. It seems,. therefore, that [a state of] sufficiency is safer and less dangerous than either of the two sides. Hence, the request for it [i.e. sufficiency] features in many supplications, and the Prophet (SAWA) would ask for it for himself and his household (AS). Some have said that if this is so, then the best is what the Prophet (SAWA) and most of his companions have chosen in possessing less of the world and distancing oneself from its pleasures. Al-Raghib has said in his al-Mufradat: the word poverty is used with four meanings. The first: the need for bare necessities, that applies to all human beings, as long as they dwell in the realm of this world, or rather, it applies for all existing beings, and this is what is meant in His verse in the Qur'an: O mankind! You are the ones who stand in need of Allah, and Allah He is the All sufficient, the All laudable. The. second: lack of acquisitions, which is mentioned in His verse in the Qur'an: [The charities are] for the poor who are straitened in the way of Allah until His verse: ...Charities are only for the poor and the needy. , The third: poverty of the self, which is voracious greed, denoted by the Prophet (SAWA)'s saying, 'Poverty is almost infidelity', and is opposite to his saymg, '[True] Wealth is the needlessness of the self.' The fourth: Being in need of Allah, referred to in his (SAWA) saying, ?O Allah, enrich me through making me needy of You, and do not impoverish me through needlessness of You.' This is what is meant in Allah's verse in the Qur?an: Aly Lord! Indeed I am in need of any good You may send down to me. , . BiHar al-Anwar: 'It is narrated in the scriptures of Prophet Enoch (AS) : There is no wealth with those who are not in need of Me, and there is no poverty for those who are in want of Me.?

Imam Ja'far ibn Muhammad al-Sadiq [as]

Bihar al-Anwar, v. 95, p. 462

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Library » Marriage & Morals in Islam » Some FAQ's

Some FAQ's

(A) Do parents have any right over the marriage of their children?

The father and paternal grandfather have full authority over the children who have not yet reached the age of puberty.

When a child reaches the age of puberty, then there are three different situations:

(a) a child who is baligh but not mentally mature: in this case, the father and the grandfather still have their authority over him or her. Such a child cannot take a decision on marriage without the approval of the father or the grandfather.
(b) a male child who is baligh and also mentally mature: in this case, he has full right to decide about his own marriage.
(c) a girl who is baligh and mentally mature: There are four different opinions on this issue. (Muhaqqiq al-Hilli, Sharaya', p. 500: Shahid ath-Thani, Sharh Lum'ah, vol. 2. p. 71. ) But the majority of the present mujtahids say that in her first marriage, a baligha and mentally mature girl cannot marry without the permission of her father or grandfather. And if such a girl had already married before. then she has full right to decide for herself in the case of her second marriage. (Al-Yazdi. al-'Urwah, p. 654; al-Khui, Minhaj, vol. 2. p 255: al-Khumayni. Tahrir, vol. 2. p. 254; for details, see ash-Shahid ath-Thani, Masalik, vol. 1, p 449-452. )

This law is in place to act as an extra protection for the honor of a teenage girl. However, if the father or grandfather refuses to give his consent to a proposal of a suitable man, then a religious judge can over-ride the decision of her father or grandfather. Similarly, if the father or grandfather is inaccessible, then there is no need for his permission.

(B) By considering the hijab in Islam, is a boy permitted to look at the girl before marrying her?

A man is allowed to see without hijab the woman whom he intends to marry. However, this permission is just for the man or the woman to see the prospective spouse once; (Muhaqqiq al-Hilli, Sharaya', p. 493; Shahid ath-Thani, S'harh Lum'ah, vol. 2, p. 67; al-Yazdi, al-'Urwah, p. 625; al-Khu'i, Minhaj, vol. 2, p. 253; al-Khumayni, Tahrir, vol. 2, p. 254: 'Allamah al-Hilli, Tazkirah, vol. 2, p. 572; Shaykh at-Tusi, an-Nihayah, p. 484.) it is not a perpetual license to go out together! I strongly recommend that such a meeting should take place with the supervision of the parent or the guardian.
(C) Can a boy and a girl who are engaged meet each other or go out together ?

In Islam, there is no ceremony known as engagement. According to the shari'ah, engagement is a revocable agreement between two persons to marry each other, nothing more; it does not make the two persons mahram to each other. They still have to observe the rules of hijab. But if two persons who are engaged wish to meet each other, then the only way to legalize that Islamically is by performing mut'a marriage between the fiance and the fiancee. They can even put a condition in the mut'a that there will be no sexual relations. This way, they will be able to meet each other without any objection from the shari'ah. This method can be adopted by those also who wish to go through the engagement ceremony in which the fiance puts a ring on the fiancee's finger.

However, as mentioned earlier, a girl who has not married before will need her father's or grandfather's approval even in such a mut'a marriage.