Pearl of Wisdom
'Solomon, son of David (AS) one day said to his companions, 'Allah Almighty has endowed upon me a kingdom that no person after me will ever have. He has given me control of the wind, the humans, the jinn, the birds and the animals, and He has taught me the language of the birds. He has given me from everything, and with all that I possess, there has never been a day when my happiness has continued until night. I would like to enter my palace tomorrow and climb atop it and oversee my subjects. So, do not permit anyone to come to me for I do not want anyone to disturb my day.' They said, 'Yes.' When the next day came, he took his walking staff in his hand and went up to the highest point of his palace. He stood there leaning on his staff looking at his kingdom, happy for where he was and pleased with what had been given to him, when suddenly he saw a young man with a handsome face and neat clothes coming out to him from a corner of the palace. When Solomon saw him, he asked him, 'Who let you enter the palace when I wanted to be alone here for the day? And with whose per-mission did you enter?' The young man replied, 'The Lord of this palace let me enter it, and with His permission I entered.' Solomon said, 'Indeed its Lord is more rightful to it than me, so who are you?' He said, 'I am the angel of death.' Solomon asked, 'What has brought you here?' He said, 'I have come to take your soul.' Solomon said, 'Do what you have been commanded to do, for this is the day of my happiness, and Allah Almighty has refused for me to be happy but only in meeting Him.' So the angel of death took his soul, while he was leaning on his staff. Solomon stayed leaning on his staff while dead until Allah wished so, while the people continued to look at him [from below] thinking him to be alive. People then argued and differed among each other, some saying, 'Solomon has stayed leaning on his staff for all these days, nor eaten. Surely he must be our lord whom we must worship!' Others said, 'Solomon is a magician, and he is showing us that he can stand there leaning on his staff. He is conjuring our eyes, while it is not actually so!' The believers said, 'Solomon is a servant of Allah and His prophet, and Allah controls his affairs as He wishes.' So when they differed among each other Allah Almighty sent termites who crawled into Solomon's staff. When they had eaten the inside of the staff, it broke and Solomon (AS) fell from his palace onto his face.'
Imam Ja'far ibn Muhammad al-Sadiq [as] Ilal al-Shara'i', p. 73, no. 2
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We acknowledge that the below references for providing the original file containing the 'Parenting in Islam'. They are
Extracts from literature pieces by
- Syed Athar Husain S.H. Rizvi
- Tahera Kassamali
- Ayatullah Ibrahim Amini
- Ayatullah Hussain Madhahiri
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The Child and the Religious Duties |
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It is true that the boys attain the age of responsibility (baligh) at fifteen and the girls at age nine. This is the age when the juridical norms become mandatory for them. But the performance of religious duties may not be postponed till the child reaches the age of responsibility. They must be encouraged to perform the religious duties from early childhood so that when they become compulsory, they would already be in the habit of fulfillling them. Fortunately, in families of religious people, a child starts to emulate its parents performing the religious rites. Sometimes he spreads the prayer carpet for the parents, sometimes he puts down his head to the ground in supplication with the parent. He repeats Allah o Akbar ( God is Great) and La ilaha illa Lah with his parents.
He will recite small religious couplets with his mother. The thoughtful parents make good use of this natural instinct of the child to emulate. If a child does these things, the parents give him a smile of appreciation.
There should not be an element of force in making the child learn the religious rites. The parents should not start formal teaching of the religious rites in early childhood. At the age of five the child can learn to recite the Sura al Faieha (The Opening) of the Holy Quran. This has to be done slowly in several days to keep the interest of the child in learning to do the recitation. At the age of seven the child should be asked to offer regular prayers. The parents should themselves set an example to the child by offering all the five prayers, regularly and punctually, at their appointed times. At the age of nine years make it binding on the children to offer regular prayers. They should explain to the children that the prayers are mandatory when they are home and also when they travel.
If the child abstains from praying, the parents should deal with him strictly. If the parents are themselves regular at offering their prayers, they can easily make the children habituated of following suit. When the children reach the age of responsibility, they will already be regular at offering the mandatory prayers. If the parents take the excuse that the child is still too small, and they would teach him to pray when he comes of age, then it would be very difficult to initiate the child into regular prayers. It is a common belief that old habits are difficult to change. This is the reason that the Prophet of Islam and the Holy Imams have asked the parents to initiate the children to offer prayers from the six or seven years of age.
Imam Mohammed al Baqir says:
“We encourage our children start praying from the age of five years and at seven years we order them to pray five times a day regularly. " (Wasail al-shiah, v 3, p. 12)
The Prophet of Islam has said:
“When your children are six years old, order them to offer the prayers. When they are seven, ask them more strictly to be regular at prayers. If necessary, they must be punished if they don’t become regular in their prayers." (Mustadrak al-wasail, v 1, p. 171)
Imam Mohammed al Baqir or Imam Jafer al Sadiq has said:
“When the child is seven years old, then ask him to wash his face, the feet and the hands before offering prayers. But when he is nine years old, teach him the correct method of doing the Wadu ( the mandatory ablutions prior to offering prayers). This is the time when the child is strictly instructed to offer regular prayers." (Wasail al shiah, v 3, p. 13)
Imam Jafer al Sadiq says:
“When a child is six years old, then it is necessary he learns to offer prayers and if he is physically capable he must also be encouraged to fast during the month of Ramadhan." (Wasail al shiah, v 3, p. 12)
The child should be initiated slowly to fasting during Ramadhan. A child who is physically fit for fasting should be woken up at the time of sahr (the meal before sunrise), so that he eats at this time instead of the breakfast at the regular morning times. If the child is keen to fast the whole day, encourage him to complete it. But, if during the day, the child feels uneasy, he may be permitted to break his fast before time. The number of fasts by the child may be increased gradually. When the child reaches the age of understanding, he must be instructed that offering regular prayers five times a day and fasting on all days during the month of Ramadhan is mandatory. If he is irregular in his compliance of these, he would be a sinner and liable to punishment by God. The parents must explain to the child the advantages and the rewards of fasting during Ramadhan. This will give more courage to the child to do the fasting. During the last days of Ramadhan, make other duties lighter for the child. He must be allowed more hours of rest during the day. At the end of the fasting period, the child must be given some gift as an encouragement for his efforts. During the fasting period the parents should take care that the children don’t try to eat something hidden from others’ view.
It is necessary for the parents to instruct the children at the proper time about the wet-dreams they get at puberty. They must be instructed about doing the ghusl ( the mandatory cleansing bath after having an emission) and istinja ( the washing of the genitals with water after urinating).
It is necessary to remind here that if they wish their children to be regular visitors to the mosques and religious symposia, then they must put them into the habit from their childhood. They should take them to the mosque and the places of religious discourses. These visits will create interest in the children for going to the congregations.
In the end, it will not be out of place to remind that before reaching the age of understanding it is not mandatory on the child to observe the compulsory religious rites. If he is unable to perform certain rites at certain times, he is not committing any transgression. But it will not be proper for the parents to leave the children totally independent to do whatever they wish to. The child must be told that if in his innocence he causes any physical or bodily harm to others, he shall have to pay the Deeth ( the fine for harming others) when he reaches the age of understanding.
On the other hand if the child is left free without any checks whatsoever, he might get into the habit of committing sins and wrong acts. The dictum is: ‘Old habits die hard’ The habits cultivated during the childhood remain with the person, however much one tries to banish them. Therefore it is necessary for the parents to instruct the children about the dos and don’ts from their very early days. They must stop them from doing taboo acts and encourage them to do good deeds.
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