Pearl of Wisdom

said in a letter that he wrote to Muhammad Ibn Sinan outlining the reason for restricting the divorce to three times, 'The reasoning behind the divorce being permissible three times is to do with the respite it gives [each party to think] between the first to the third time for in that time, a desire [for one's spouse] may arise or one's rage may subside. Also, [it has been restricted to three] in order to discipline and deter women from disobeying their husbands [time after time] whereby she may have become deserving of separation and distancing for doing something to disobey her husband. The reason why a woman becomes unlawful for a man after nine counts of divorce, where he is absolutely not allowed a woman and is Punishable for it, is in order that people do not make a jest of divorce and so that women are not abased, and so that man may consider his situation carefully and vigilantly [before plunging into marriage and divorce], and that he may feel despair at ever coming back together with a woman after having divorced nine times.'

Imam Ali ibn Musa al-Ridha [as]
'Ilal al-Shara'i', p. 507, no. 1

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Question : #769 Category: Youth Issues
Subject: Abuse
Question: Salam

My parents physically and emotionally abuse us and I know in Islam it says respect them because they gave birth to me and raised me but I'd rather be dead than alive. I know your going to quote from the quran on parents. But I want to know how can god accept this and allow it. I cant believe in god because of the what some parents are doing to their child and my mum makes me disbelief because she continues to put me down and abuse me everyday. I have got an anxiety disorder because of this.

I think that my family need therapy, how is that wrong or dishonor this will make them better people. When they abuse my younger siblings you have no idea how guilty I feel and angry because I can ask for help and angry because god is making us suffer. We've been abused for as long as I remember . I need help with my anxiety, therapy that is the only way I can cope.

Did you know that children who are abused grow up to abuse others around them so it that what god wants a worlds full of angry and abusive people?? How is Islam a religion of peace??

The prophet only said respect your parent's because he was not abused by them and he doesn't what its like, god gave him everything lots of women, sex with slaves, money , power, and he has help always and support he was never alone like me and people going through similar stuff.

The Noble Qur'an - 3:126
And if you punish (your enemy, O you believers in the Oneness of Allâh), then punish them with the like of that with which you were afflicted. But if you endure patiently, verily, it is better for As-Sâbirin (the patient ones, etc.).

The retribution for abuse should not exceed the original abuse.

Hadith - Sahih Muslim
"If two people abuse each other, the fault lies upon the one who began the abuse unless the wronged one transgresses."

I am really confused please help me because I can't pray knowing that got is the cause of my abuse and pain. I am really scared that I will grow up to be like that unless I seek help. I know it from non Islamic people but atleast they are doing something to protect their future generation which makes them better than most Muslim.

Sorry for the long questions but I really need help.

Our Sheikh will respond to this question in the coming days Insha'Allah, check again soon

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