Ask Qul - Youth Issues - Abuse

Pearl of Wisdom

'The one who worships without any knowledge [of his actions] is as a donkey in a mill.'

Prophet Muhammad al-Mustafa [sawa]

Kanz al-'Ummal, no. 28709

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Question : #769

Category: Youth Issues

Subject:	Abuse
Question:	Salam My parents physically and emotionally abuse us and I know in Islam it says respect them because they gave birth to me and raised me but I'd rather be dead than alive. I know your going to quote from the quran on parents. But I want to know how can god accept this and allow it. I cant believe in god because of the what some parents are doing to their child and my mum makes me disbelief because she continues to put me down and abuse me everyday. I have got an anxiety disorder because of this. I think that my family need therapy, how is that wrong or dishonor this will make them better people. When they abuse my younger siblings you have no idea how guilty I feel and angry because I can ask for help and angry because god is making us suffer. We've been abused for as long as I remember . I need help with my anxiety, therapy that is the only way I can cope. Did you know that children who are abused grow up to abuse others around them so it that what god wants a worlds full of angry and abusive people?? How is Islam a religion of peace?? The prophet only said respect your parent's because he was not abused by them and he doesn't what its like, god gave him everything lots of women, sex with slaves, money , power, and he has help always and support he was never alone like me and people going through similar stuff. THIS IS PROOF THAT YOU CAN PUNISH PEOPLE WHO HAVE ABUSED YOU: The Noble Qur'an - 3:126 And if you punish (your enemy, O you believers in the Oneness of Allâh), then punish them with the like of that with which you were afflicted. But if you endure patiently, verily, it is better for As-Sâbirin (the patient ones, etc.). The retribution for abuse should not exceed the original abuse. Hadith - Sahih Muslim "If two people abuse each other, the fault lies upon the one who began the abuse unless the wronged one transgresses." I am really confused please help me because I can't pray knowing that got is the cause of my abuse and pain. I am really scared that I will grow up to be like that unless I seek help. I know it from non Islamic people but atleast they are doing something to protect their future generation which makes them better than most Muslim. Sorry for the long questions but I really need help.
Answer:	Our Sheikh will respond to this question in the coming days Insha'Allah, check again soon

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