Ask Qul - Family Issues - Foster mother

Pearl of Wisdom

'The one who remembers [Allah] in the midst of the neglectful ones is as one who fights [in the way of Allah] in the midst of others who flee [from the battle].'

Prophet Muhammad al-Mustafa [sawa]

Makarim al-Akhlaq, v. 2, p. 373, no. 2661

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Question : #648

Category: Family Issues

Subject:	Foster mother
Question:	I have been facing a lot of problems through my foster mother. She has always been cursing me through bad words and disgracing me by making fun of me (many a times in front of many people). When i try to defend myself, my parents call it 'insolence'. Is she to be obeyed? is she, in any respect, equal to the status of my real mother (late)? What does Islam say about this?
Answer:	If by the word fostering, suckling (radhaat) is meant, and If the child is suckled before the age of 2, the woman will become his/her foster mother and her husband will be the foster father. However, the word fostering is generally used for taking care of a child as if it were your own. This is similar to adopting a child. According to rulings emphasize to the adoptive family that they are not taking the place of the biological family, they are trustees and caretakers of someone else's child. Their role is very clearly defined, but nevertheless very valued and important. In terms of treatment, Prophet Muhammad was orphaned and care taken by his uncle Abi Talib, and Prophet Muhammad also adopted a child, and from these practical scenarios can we see how to be treated and to treat adopted children. Always be patient and respectful as Allah loves the patient ones as long your rights have not been hindered.

Follow Up Question:	by foster mother i meant, she had been married with my father after my biological mother died. And since then i have been facing these problems... Thank u for ur response and may God bless u for ur efforts.
Follow Up Response Question:	Inshallah, always remember Allah in times of ease and He will remember you during times of hardship.

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