Ask Qul - Marriage - Nikkah - rishta

Pearl of Wisdom

'The best matters are those of the middle way.'

Imam Musa ibn Jafar al-Kadhim [as]

Bihar al-Anwar, v. 76, p. 292, no. 16

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Question : #616

Category: Marriage - Nikkah

Subject:	rishta
Question:	Asalaamalaikum, Asalaamalaikum, my parents had said yes to my cousins family, that i will marry him. i had not agreed at that point but parents and my brother thought it was best because there was nobody else for me. I have spoken up many times after this saying i don't want to marry him, and i suggested a different cousin as they want me to marry in the family. I am not sure if i want to marry him either now. Mum found out that there are taveez done on me and the guy from pakistan who they want me to marry. So i was told to do istikhara that showed bad signs, but they avoid that. I feel it is best for me to speak up now rather than after married to him as i don't want to hurt anyone, but seems like I have. What should i do i don't want to marry either of them and they will not consider a rishta out of the family. Mum is also saying it will have a bad effect on my sister as she is married to his older brother. please help. JazakAllah
Answer:	Salaam Alaykum, InshaAllah this finds you well. In terms of the Sharia perspective on this matter, in order for the marriage to be in order, the woman (yourself) has to accept the marriage during the pronouncing of the nikkah. Given your discomfort in accepting the marriage,be it to your cousin, the marriage will not be in order and this matter should be addressed to the families. This can be revoked if this authority is given to your wakil (at your decision). It's critical to note that Islam does not enforce daughters to marry to their parents/guardians will. There are conditions to this, such as the families choice is to prevent from commiting sin. Duas.

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