Ask Qul - Divorce / Talaq - Whisch is the lesser sin?

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'A believer is the brother of another believer, his eye and his guide; he does not betray him, nor wrong him, nor deceive him, and nor does he rescind a promise he made to him.'

Imam Ja'far ibn Muhammad al-Sadiq [as]

Ibid. no. 3

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Question : #614

Category: Divorce / Talaq

Subject:	Whisch is the lesser sin?
Question:	Salam Aleikum Inshallah you and your family are safe and well living in the highest eeman. Please help me - what is the lesser of the sin and more pleasing of the 2 for Allah swt.. 1. Divorce (leaving 3 daughters living without both parents? 2. Living together in the same house (mother sleeping in one room and father sleeping in another) for the sake of the daughters? Though not having marital relations, and the father paying for the children's welfare and paying for the mother's food , petrol money from the money given as grocery money. As they are livng in the same house in this regard and the father is prepared to pay like this to the daughters are older (though this has been stated only by text msging as wont speak to the wife) does the wife have to wear hijsb? Which is the lesser sin? To be married but not perform the wifely duties but is full on mother and caretaker of the home or divorce? Jak for your time in answering this very sensitive issue. I would also very much appreciate your earliest reaponse as this is the situation I find myself in right now and want o be as close to Allah swt as I can through this difficult time. My husband on recommendation from myself will not communicate with me other than text msg and when I suggested going to the court to srt it all out he has refused. So please help me to live halal.
Answer:	Alaykum Salaam, Although divorce is a lawful act, it is the most detested and worst of all deeds. "Imam Sadiq (AS) stated: 'Get married but do not divorce, because a divorce would tremble the Arsh (empyrean) of Allah'. In your case stated, the greater sin is if there arent any active steps taken to rectify and bring your marriage back to what it’s meant to be. A couple, who seeks separations, must not rush for it. They are recommended to consider carefully about the after-effects and their future in detail and then decide. They must specifically ponder over two points: First Point: A couple, who seeks divorce, generally would like to remarry. But they should remember that after the divorce, the persons known as divorcees would not have a good record with regard to marriage. People may think of them as selfish and unfaithful. Second Point: A couple, which seeks separation, must also think of their children. Children's comfort lies in a family where both the parents live together and take care of them jointly. Upon the breaking down of the family life, children become extremely upset. If only their father looks after them, they would be deprived of motherly love. Divorce destroys a family unit and leaves the children wandering and shelter less. Children often suffer as the result of their parents selfishness. Ayatullah Ibrahim Amini is quoted in one of his volumes, "Dear madam/sir, For the sake of Allah and for the sake of your innocent children, be forgiving towards each other. Do not exaggerate trivial problems and do not persist in your arguments. Do not pick up faults with each other. Think of your future as well as that of your children. Remember, Your children rely on you and look up to you for their happiness. Have mercy upon them and do not destroy their lives." Insha'Allah this provides some comfort in your lives.

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