Pearl of Wisdom
'And if you cannot avoid partisanship, then let your partisanship be for virtuous qualities, Praiseworthy acts, and admirable matters with which the dignified and noble chiefs of the Arab households and the notables of the tribes distinguished themselves, such as attractive manners, great ambitions, momentous positions, and Praiseworthy feats. So be partisans of Praiseworthy characteristics like protection of one's neighbour, fulfilment of rights, obedience of good people, opposition to the haughty, adoption of virtue, abstention from intimidating others, shunning bloodshed, doing justice to people, suppressing anger, and avoiding corruption in the land.'
Imam Ali ibn Abi Talib [as]
Nahj al-Baldgha, no. 192
Sexual Ethics & Morals
Salaat / Prayers
Business / Investment
Sexual Ethics & Morals
Divorce / Talaq
Fasting / Sawm / Roza
Ask Qul - QA
Subject: Maintenance after Divirce
Question: Salam A' Leikum
Inshallah you and your family are well.
Does the amount of maintenace an ex wife get depend on different factors?
For example if the husband is filing for divorce because the wife is not performing the wife's duties as in having sex, (having sex though not as often as he wants) though him not wanting to find out why she doesn't feel like having sex what is she entitled to?
If the marriage has 3 daughters, 10 years, 6 years and 2 years what are the wife's maintenance allowance? Does he have to pay for the ex wife or just the children?
Does the maintenace change if the wife asks for a divorce on the grounds that she doesn't want to often be with her husband due to not actually feeling like a wife inthe 1st place and having to save and budget on groceries for her children (nothing for herself as there is nothing left) when he has money to buy another exoensive phone, have 3 cars and lives a lifestyle where at the end of the month the money for food has to be paid for by credit card which the wife dispisces? Can she file for divorce on these grounds? What would be the maintenance?
Can the husband threaten a wife that he will marry a second wife?
Sorry for the long question. Inshallah you have time to answer it. Jazak Allah khair for your time.
For your first question, if the wife does not fulfil her matrimonial duties towards her husband, she will not be entitled for the food, clothes or housing, even if she continues to live with him. But if she refuses to obey occasionally, the common verdict is that even then she cannot claim any entitlement from her husband. But this verdict is a matter of Ishkal.
Addressing your section query, up until the end of the seventh year, custody of girl is the mother’s right, and thereafter it is the right of his father, and in Islam there is no way for the mother to have permanent custody, yes, if the father dies, the right of custody of the child, whether male and female, is the mothers.
But in this specific case, it has to be stated that the Holy Prophet of Islam called divorce and separation the most hated things. Based on this, it is better that with your guidance and that of other family friends, and for their child's future well being that they stay together.
Lastly, the husband cannot marry to a second wife unless the justice that is required [in dealing with polygamy] is related to the division [of time between them] in the sense that when he spends a night with one of them then, he must spend one night each with the rest of them in every four nights.
The justice that is required as a recommendation is equality in spending money, giving attention, cheerfulness, and fulfilment of their sexual needs, etc. From your brief explanation, it may not be possible that your current husband could enter polygamy due to the conditions you are experiencing.
For these type of marriage issues, it's recommended an Islamic marriage councillor and/or a representative of your Marja is met.
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