Pearl of Wisdom

returning from the Battle of Siffin, in answer to an old man who asked him about their journey to Syria: 'Is this fate or destiny?' said, 'By He who created the seed and made the human being, we have not gone through a valley or ascended a mountain without it being our fate and destiny.... You might think this to be imperative fate and inevitable destiny. If this were so then promise of reward (wa'd) and threat of penalty (wa'id), would cease to apply, and reward and punishment would become null. Allah would not blame the sinners, nor would He praise the good-doers. The benevolent would not be more worthy of reward for good deeds than the sinner, which is the belief of the idol worshippers.... and the Magians. However, Allah has commanded good by choice and forbidden evil by warning, and He is not disobeyed helplessly, nor obeyed forcefully or freely, and nor does He give man absolute control.'

Imam Ali ibn Abi Talib [as]
Ibid. no. 1560

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Question : #493 Category: Marriage - Nikkah
Subject: istikhara for marriage
Question: Salam Alaikum,

I was wondering if one can perform "istikhara" before wanting to get married, in order to seek Allah's help in their decision, by asking whether they have a good future together.

So, is making an Istikhara valid for choosing your spouse?

JazakAllah Khair.
Answer: One may resort to istikhara in situations where he is confused and cannot prefer one side [of the issue] to the other, after having pondered over it and having consulted [those who know about it].

So istikhara is done when you are confused and perplexed, and is considered as a last resort after it has been assessed logically from every aspect and perspective. One must also consult experts or wise individuals to see if he can reach a decision.
If after consultation he still remains confused, he can then do Istikhara. You must know that when an act is good in itself, there is no need to make Istikhara for it.

Excercising istikhara may be appropriate in a marriage situation when it lays outside of normal circumstances such as there hasn't been any form of contact/interaction between the two parties and a decision has to be made urgently, and one is unable to use Aql/Intellect with the understanding of the Sharia.

So It is not recommended to exercise istikhara for your situation.

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