Pearl of Wisdom

'You were not betrayed by a trustworthy man, rather you trusted a traitor.'

Imam Muhammad ibn Ali al-Baqir [as]
al-Tahdhib, v. 7, p. 232, no. 1013

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Question : #422 Category: Family Issues
Subject: aggreement in choice of marriage
Question: Salam....my question is that my sisters are not agreeing to my choice of marriage...I have known him for 17years...but they do not like him even though they have never met him...please can you tell me how I can get them to like him and agree to the wedding...my parents have both passed away...is there something I need to do or read...or maybe I can read something even without wudhu..please I am very upset
Answer: If you have reached the age of bulugh and you are a virgin and mature (meaning you can decide what is in your own interest) wishes to marry, you should, obtain permission from your paternal grandfather, although you may be looking after your own affairs. It is not, however, necessary for you to obtain permission from your sisters.

Also, in the following situations, it will not be necessary for a woman to seek the permission of her father (if he was alive) or paternal grandfather, before getting married:
(i) If she is not a virgin.
(ii) If she is a virgin, but her father or paternal grandfather refuse to grant permission to her for marrying a man who is compatible to her in the eyes of Shariah, as well as custom.
(iii) If the father and the grandfather are not in any way willing to participate in the marriage.
(iv) If they are not in a capacity to give their consent, like in the case of mental illness etc.
(v) If it is not possible to obtain their permission because of their absence, or such other reasons, and the woman is eager to get married urgently.

Your situation may match point (v).

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