Ask Qul - Marriage - Nikkah - marriage question - please help

Pearl of Wisdom

'Habits are overpowering, for he who forms a habit to something in secret and during his free times is plagued by them in public and when occupied.'

Imam Hasan ibn Ali al-Mujtaba [as]

Tanbih al-Khawatir, v. 2, p. 113

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Question : #200

Category: Marriage - Nikkah

Subject:	marriage question - please help
Question:	Salaam alaikum I am a Shia girl of the age of 19 and very confused. I have always been against love and I considered my friends who were/are in relationships as fools lol. Islam is my life. I have never thought of falling in love and never had feelings for a man so far. I was planning to complete my education (1st year of uni), get a job etc etc and then consider love and marriage whenever I am 'ready'. However, I have this friend and know him for years. He recently told me he had feelings for me and he respects me. Plus he is Sunni, he knows I am Shia and he knows and accepts it. He admires Maula Ali (as) and the descendents of the prophet. He basically has everything I ever wanted in a man. I realised I have feelings as well but I don't know what to do. I don't want this to lead to haram actions.. I feel so bad during praying and so guilty I don't know what to do. My apologies if I wrote too much but I am really desperate. What shoud I do? I am in love.. Is it allowed as far as we don't touch and any other haram actions? Many thanks in advance for your help. Kind regards
Answer:	The Shariah permits the intended spouses to see each other for the purpose of selection and also permits asking and giving opinions if asked (without it being considered as gheebat under certain conditions.) That said, it is not haram to love, but it is haram to act on those feelings and intentions while you are not married to that person. Islam allows temporary marriage, but brothers from Ahl Sunnah do not allow this. It would be best to notify your parents and conduct perm marriage, or exercise restrain and patience.

Follow Up Question:	Is it haram for a shia gril to marry a sunni guy?
Follow Up Response Question:	if you have no fear on your religion , that he might mislead you or force you to believe otherwise and no fear on your children faith then no problem with the marriage.

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